Dear friends,
I am burned out.
If I stare at my computer for a minute longer today, my eyes will disintegrate into dust. If I type one more word, my fingers will shatter into pieces.
And that is why I am writing this post on a notebook, the lined notebook which I use to file my daily to-do list. I will type it up on WordPress later. Right now, I need to feel a writer’s cramp that doesn’t ache like the foreshadowing of carpal tunnel. I need to hear my pen scratch smoothly and insistently on paper. I need to nestle on my couch and be out of my home office.
You may feel like you know my office by now. You’ll recognize my standing desk, and my earthing mat that goes beneath my feet. You’ll expect to see my eye fatigue glasses there, next to the Canon camera which has been so faithful to my blog. You’ll notice, without pause, my salt lamp and my beeswax candles and my crystals and my mug of tea made with fluoride-free water.
And you wouldn’t be surprised to hear about my day, which typifies my routine.
I woke at 7 to my wakeup light. I had coffee with ghee and collagen alongside duck eggs. I raced through emails and social media before a dance class. I ate lunch – baked salmon with squash. Then, I resumed my work: photographing and writing a post, corresponding with sponsors, and writing a newsletter.
And now, I have an hour of work left before dinner with a dear friend. The friend who told me, two months ago, “I think you have big-time technology burnout. You seem highly anxious whenever I see you within five feet of a screen. When is the last time you unplugged for a day or two in nature?”
“I can’t remember,” I said. And I felt both relief and horror at the realization that yes, I had computer burnout. That weekend, I took a drive to the beach where I spent my childhood and sat a driftwood log under the Pacific Northwest sky. I left all my technology at home. Even with that short pause, I regained my equilibrium and perspective.
Four years of persistent blogging backs Empowered Sustenance. Persistent passion, certainly, and also a persistent doggedness to navigate technology (which is a true challenge for me). And also persistence to do this as a one-woman-show, completing the daily blog tasks that, while not mundane, can sometimes resonate with a certain sameness.
Blogging, that mysterious and even slightly mythical occupation, fuels me with connection, structure, and a creative outlet. It has also provided a platform to build a lifestyle for which I’m deeply grateful.
So, with that said, I see myself blogging for at least another four years. But there are some aspects that need to shift. Because even with my office outfitted for the health blogger I am, I realized I must get more time away from the computer.
My connection with you is the reason I write. You existed in my fantasy before you existed in reality, when I wrote my first blog post as a lonely 19-year-old girl. You were someone with whom I could discuss the joys and frustration of a healing journey. Then, you became real, tangible, vocal. And I felt deeply fulfilled.
I will continually connect with you through the online world of Empowered Sustenance. But I am inspired to connect with you in ways beyond a computer screen. In ways that bring me out of my office and into the still wisdom of nature. In ways that build a creative synergy with others. In ways that fulfill the voice in my soul to share energy medicine.
And also in ways that involves writing in a new way, because something in my depths compels me to plunge into the artistry of words… words written on paper, with a pen. Some magnetic force, the same energy that committed me to blogging, draws me to explore poetry and creative writing with determination. I must make time in my life to honor that.
At this time, I leave you with only that much of a hint about the new vocation in my life. It is a labor of love which I cannot wait to share with you, and I will share it with you soon!
In the meantime, I will continue to navigate this thing I’ve called my healing journey. (I recently discovered this was considered by my blogging colleagues to be my catchphrase!) My healing now means continued to connection to you, but with less computer time.
As I’m never going to have a ghostwriter, and I’m apprehensive to even hire an assistant for social media, I think this means less blog content during this transitional time. I will still write content, but I don’t think I can keep up with my current habit of up to three posts per week. I’m also looking to share more guest posts during this time, to highlight the work of bloggers.
Another project which added to my burnout, but which I thoroughly enjoy all the same, is renovating Empowered Sustenance with the help of a talented designer. I hope to introduce the new look in April, with the goal that it will be easier for you to discover the content and resources you need.
Many of you have watched not just Empowered Sustenance grow, but you’ve watched me grow. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for your support and companionship over the years. I hope our connection continues in new and remarkable ways.
I was wondering….how you could keep it up! Yes, take time for nature and for nurturing yourself!
Loved your honest blog and commitment to follow your self care needs at this time!! We will all benefit from the return and reconfiguration of the unfolding path!! You have given so much, inspired so much, and I am grateful!
Read through all the comments and appreciate the wisdom and support you are given.
We are all held in love Wishing you the very best as you birth the new ways!!
I have followed your blog for years. I would have liked to urge you to rest but we can not direct each other’s lives in any detail with sureness and a suggestion is too often felt as a criticism. It is good to see you are ready for a new phase in your journey and still taking care of yourself.
Thank you so much for your honesty. I have to take frequent ‘nature’ breaks to decompress from technology, and it really helps????
Every one of your posts is a gem I am grateful for (no matter what the frequency) so please take the time you need to slow down without any guilt or worry or apology. I started my healing journey just a little over a year ago and your blog has been an indispensable resource. Out of the many bloggers I follow, your voice is the one I trust the most. I have benefited so much from what you’ve learned on your journey and cannot thank you enough for sharing what you know with us.
I live in Northern Ireland and thanks to you I now own the Big Berkey water filter and the Sprite shower filter and bath filter and I cook mainly with ghee. Love all the information I get from your blog. Will miss you but you must look after yourself first.
hi Lauren,
your posts have helped me enormously.. I’m from southern Australia.. perhaps you are unaware of how widely you have helped others.. I thank you very much and wish you well..
Susan
I’ll miss you! I know you’re not leaving permanently, but I do enjoy reading your posts. I have learned so much from all your recommendations which has truly helped me heal. Good luck in your next endeavors!
Thank you, Lauren! You helped me realize that it’s okay to write an article by hand, into a notebook. Everytime I was writing something by hand lately, I felt guilty, thinking I could have been typing this straight into my computer and therefore saving my time. Well, the result was that I wasn’t writing by hand and nor into my computer. Talk about writers block, huh? But this article really made me realize it’s okay to take that extra time with rewritting things from notebook to computer because I’m just able to get into the writing flow better when handwriting.
Thank you for the great conten you put out here, I’ll faithfully continue visiting your blog even if you post less often (because that doesn’t matter, quality over quantity, am I right? 🙂 )
I found you today when I simply googled “The properties of Lard for cooking” and voila’ your site popped up. I cannot believe I had not run into you on the internet in the last two years since I have changed my eating habits. ! It may be because I’m not signed up on Face Book or google + .
I am 77 years old. Three years ago I ended up in the hospital for the first time in 40 years with Atrial Fibrillation. Now that I have learned a few things about healthy diets, I consider it a miracle it took that long for my health to break down. I am happy to say that as of two years ago, I am totally free of any and all medications the doctors sent me home with after my hospital stay. As soon as I began using organic expeller expressed coconut oils exclusively and added the following changes, [ I now use only Celtic salt, Quit all bread and grains, and rice, pasta and sweets/sugar in everything and began eating only foods prepared by myself (organic and or free range chickens (and their eggs], I began losing the 40 pounds I have lost and am still losing slowly but consistently! And I feel great! Thankfully, my heart muscles were not damaged by the warning experience of A-Fib.
Since I found you and looked over your site, I’ve noticed how many of the changes I have made, which you recommend. I had to gather the facts from various sources and tedious research and I am sure it would have taken me less time to initiate all the changes had I found you immediately after my hospital stay.
Of course, I joined your newsletter and downloaded your wonderful “Unboring Cookbook. A thorough scan over the recipes in it convinced me I will love the recipes as I found nothing in the ingredients mentioned which I do not like!
I cannot marvel more at the fact that you exist and that you are contributing so much to public awareness at such a young age. And I cannot thank you enough for being such a generous you.
All good wishes to you, young lady!
Sara, thank you so much for sharing with me your story and taking the time to write! Your story is an incredible testimony to nutrition, and I’m glad our paths have crossed at this point in your journey. Congratulations on the wonderful health changes and weight loss! All good wishes to you, too.